Category Childhood Messes

Big T vs Little t Trauma

Big T traumas are the known and spoken abuses and traumas: Little t traumas are the other stuff. I heard this definition of trauma: “overwhelm plus alone.” I mention elsewhere on this site that my 10yr old son may have…

Benches

I’m a big fan of Dr. Becky’s “Good Inside” podcast, and I love a concept she talks about. I’m going to share a mental image with you: Picture a huge, beautiful garden filled with benches. Each bench represents a different…

Generational Legacy

Generational Legacy. That term is becoming more common-place today, thanks to Encanto and Twitter. It simply means negative behavioral patterns get passed to the next generation because we aren’t even aware that we’re doing it. I’m a therapist. I know…

A Parent, Not the Divine

Many adults unknowingly carry emotional patterns shaped by their relationship with their parents. When a parent becomes the center of identity, validation, or emotional safety, it can deeply impact self-worth and personal growth. Healing often begins by recognizing that parents…