Many people grow up believing their worth comes from achievements, appearance, success, productivity, or what other people think of them. Because of this, the term “self-esteem” is often misunderstood and tied to outside validation instead of inherent worth. Today, I want to go back to basics and talk about what healthy self-esteem actually means.
A quick review: I love to talk about Self Esteem.
The Outside Sources of Self-Esteem (EASA)
And the “outside sources” of Self Esteem fit with my name: Vickey Easa.
E is for Esteem
A is for Achievements
S is for Society (what others think of you)
A is for Assets and Attributes (what you have or physical features)
Those are your outside sources of Self Esteem.
What Is Inherent Self Worth?
VERSUS: do you know that you have inherent worth just because you were born? So there are the outside sources versus the internal, inherent worth, and the inherent worth is Self Esteem.
How do I “esteem” myself?
Where do I find my worth or my value?
It comes from being born, period.
Not from what you do, not from what other people think, and not from what you have or what you look like—just because you were born.
Why Society Often Misunderstands Self-Esteem
That’s why I said I want to get back to basics today; for those of you who might be confused by what “Self Esteem” means; by the concept, because the term is misused by society.
Remember: nothing adds to nor detracts from your worth—because you already have worth!
You may have strengths and weaknesses—actually, we ALL do, but they do not change your worth.
So when you are thinking about the outside sources of Self Esteem (EASA) the opposite of that is “I have inherent worth just because I was born and none of that other stuff matters.”
Therapy for Self-Worth, Self-Esteem, & Emotional Growth
Learning how to separate your worth from achievements, appearance, relationships, productivity, or outside approval can take time, especially if you’ve spent years relying on external validation to feel “good enough.” Therapy with me can help you better understand the beliefs, emotional patterns, and life experiences that may be shaping the way you view yourself.
If you’re struggling with self-worth, self-esteem, relationship patterns, or feeling stuck in “Better Than” or “Less Than” thinking, I offer therapy online and in my office in Norwood, MA for individuals and couples looking to build healthier emotional patterns and a stronger sense of inherent worth.
Contact me to book a free consultation call and see if we’re a good fit.