I want to tell you about the concrete link on how our self esteem directly affects our decision making. How it holds us back from making the healthy decisions that we know in our gut to be right for us. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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One of the unhealthy sources of self esteem is Society Based Esteem: “My self worth stems from what other people think of me.”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Are you Society Based? For many people, this could be all about their partner; “I have worth because you say I do. I have worth and value when you’re happy with me and what I say or do.”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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And, subconsciously or not, “I’m not allowed to disagree with you or have a difference of opinion.”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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We all know that wife or husband who says “yes” when they really mean “no”—and makes the other spouse “pay” for that “yes” later. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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A “yes” to “Can I play golf?” can turn into a cold shoulder later, or them picking a fight because they’re actually angry you went golfing, and that can lead to continual low self-worth in the partner who dared to go golfing and/or resentment.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Even small things like deciding what to have for dinner. If I want pasta and you don’t, that’s ok, we’ll work it out, but at least I am allowed to say, “I want pasta.”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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This could also show up at work; if you want your boss to like you, you feel like you’re not allowed to have a difference of opinion. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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If you’re the one being steamrolled at home or work, this is where I can help you with my laser-focused coaching—working on your self esteem and boundaries so that you can state your needs and wants and make healthier decisions. This improves your happiness AND your relationships.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Contact me now to book a consultation with me. I offer therapy in Norwood, MA or online!⠀⠀⠀
