Have you ever noticed how quickly you take responsibility for how someone else is feeling? Your partner comes home in a bad mood, and immediately you’re wondering what you did wrong. A friend is upset about something, and you find…
A few years ago, I bought my kids a pillow with an emotional wheel printed on it. At the time, I would hand it to them and say, “Tell me five things you felt today.” They’d scan the wheel and…
Sometimes insight comes ten years later. This is a longer story than usual, but stay with me — because it illustrates something important about what I call intergenerational legacy. Not trauma. Legacy. There is a difference. The Christmas That Changed…
It is the ability to understand what is really your “stuff” and what is not – what is the other person’s. Discernment is a part of boundaries. Discernment is the ability to know the answers to these two questions: If…
A friend of mine once said something that’s stuck with me:“You are what you eat… except, what if it’s actually you are what you consume?” Think about that for a second. If “consume” includes everything your brain takes in—not just…
This is a situation I see all the time with my clients: women who are killin’ it at work, but at home with their spouse, kids, family, and friends, they feel steamrolled, disrespected, or unappreciated—they don’t know how to set…
I want to tell you about the concrete link on how our self esteem directly affects our decision making. How it holds us back from making the healthy decisions that we know in our gut to be right for us.…
Healthy boundaries are often misunderstood. Many people think boundaries are about controlling other people’s behavior, when in reality they are deeply connected to emotional regulation, self-esteem, and understanding what we do and do not have to absorb from others. These…
Sometimes we can feel that something is “off” emotionally before we actually have the words to explain what’s happening. Feelings like shame, embarrassment, self-doubt, or feeling “Less Than” can show up in our bodies and reactions before we fully understand…
Many people struggle to communicate their needs, feelings, and boundaries in healthy ways. Some people lean toward passiveness and avoid speaking up for themselves, while others move toward aggression in an attempt to feel heard or in control. Healthy assertiveness…