A lot of people move through life feeling either “better than” or “less than” the people around them without fully realizing it. When our self-worth becomes rooted in comparison, it can be hard to feel grounded, secure, or emotionally regulated. Healthy self-esteem looks very different, and understanding that difference can completely change the way you see yourself.
I Felt Less Than
Shhh…can you keep a secret?
I spent my whole life feeling Less Than others. Less Than everyone around me. I just didn’t know it until I began to work with the model that I am here to teach people now.
Healthy Self-Esteem is When You Can Say and Believe:
“I am enough and I matter. I have worth because I was born. I stand equal to all: eye to eye and toe to toe.” Unhealthy self-esteem is when you believe either you are Better Than or Less Than others.
“I am Better Than those around me because I am smarter or prettier.”
No, those are strengths you have. They do not increase your value as a person.
“I am Less Than those around me because I don’t understand statistics. Others are Better Than me.”
No, you have a weakness in the subject of statistics, but your personal value does not change.
When I first heard this lens, it clicked.
Finally I understood where my perspective had been stemming from.
When this happens, then the work starts.
And the work is to figure out your WHY.
WHY do I feel Better Than or Less Than?
And how do I get into the Healthy Center?
If I don’t know if I’m up or if I’m down, I don’t know how to get to the Healthy Center!
(and yes, the steps to get there are different depending on where you’re at)
Getting Into the Healthy Center
Learning to recognize whether you’re operating from a “Better Than” or “Less Than” mindset is often the first step toward healthier self-esteem and emotional regulation. The goal is not perfection, it’s learning how to see yourself as equal in worth, regardless of strengths, weaknesses, achievements, or insecurities.
Contact me here to get to work.
Let’s get you into your Healthy Center.
Remember, YOU are enough and YOU matter!