A little while ago, I did a video and blog on how I was inspired by the movie Encanto to talk about the sister, Luisa. Luisa bases her self worth on her strength, and I saw that as Attribute and Achievement Based Esteem.
I have worth because I’m strong. I have worth because of what I do with my strength.
Remember EASA: E is for Esteem, A is for Achievement, S is for Society and A for Attributes and Assets.
(These are the sources we do NOT want to be looking to get our sense of self worth from.)
This time, I want to talk about Isabela, the “pretty” sister. “Pretty” is an attribute: I have worth because I’m pretty.
This is outside in self esteem, not inside out. Inside out is the goal. We have inherent worth because we were born, not because we’re pretty, or strong, or smart.
Isabela’s whole thing is about trying to be “perfect.” You can view perfectionism as Achievement based esteem—“Do I do my job perfectly? Do I reach my goals?”
But I see Isabela’s perfectionism as Attribute Based because for her it’s all about her presentation. “Do I look perfect? Is my hair right? Is my outfit right?”
Even her room was “perfect”; perfect colors all in the perfect place. But by the end of her song with Mirabel, the colors were all mismatched and messy together. She’d stopped the perfectionism.
So, I see it for her as Attribute Based. “Am I presenting perfectly?” And a little bit of Society Based, because in whose opinion is she trying to appear “perfect”?
When I was watching the movie, both sisters’ sources of outside self esteem jumped out at me. The movie’s getting a lot of attention from therapists because because of the intergenerational trauma/legacy stuff that’s going on with the grandmother. But I also saw the self esteem piece when I was watching it—loud and clear.
And my goal for you is the more you start to immerse yourself this lens of self esteem the more you’ll start to notice it in your own life. And when you’re being pulled into those outside sources, I want you to reign yourself back in using affirmations:
I have worth because I was born.
I can hold myself in warm regard despite my flaws and imperfections.
And when you’re struggling with this—get in touch with me! Let’s figure out where the missing pieces are for you when you’re struggling with this stuff.