A friend of mine once said something that’s stuck with me:
“You are what you eat… except, what if it’s actually you are what you consume?”
Think about that for a second.
If “consume” includes everything your brain takes in—not just food, but books, TV, news, conversations, social media—that changes the whole meaning. Because we’re not just eating with our mouths. We’re feeding our minds every single time we pick up our phones.
And when we’re scrolling, especially mindlessly, our brains are absorbing it all.
Even if it doesn’t feel like it in the moment, everything you look at is getting processed—especially if you’re not grounded in healthy self-esteem or using solid emotional boundaries.
A Personal Example (Because Yep, I Still Fall Into It)
One night, I was scrolling through Instagram after a long day. Just zoning out. And slowly I started feeling… well, crappy. I caught myself mid-scroll thinking:
- “She’s so much prettier than me.”
- “She has way more followers.”
- “Her business must be doing better.”
All those comparison thoughts rolled in like a fog. And I know better! This is literally what I teach! But being aware of it doesn’t mean we don’t get pulled in sometimes. So I shut the app down and reminded myself: That reaction? That’s just the protective brain doing its thing.
Boundaries Are Not Just About Saying No
We talk a lot about boundaries as something you set with other people. But boundaries are also internal. They’re the line between what you see and what you absorb.
For example:
- “I don’t have to take this post personally.”
- “Just because someone shared it doesn’t mean it’s truth.”
- “This is affecting me. I don’t need to keep looking at it.”
You can even go one step further and say: “I’m not opening this app tonight.” (Except maybe for my account, because let’s be honest, I keep it real.)
We can choose what we consume. And if something online starts to mess with your sense of self, you’re allowed to unfollow, mute, pause, or peace out completely.
The Truth About What You’re Comparing Yourself To
Here’s the thing: People are only showing you their strengths online.
That doesn’t mean they’re not struggling. It just means that what you’re seeing is a highlight reel—styled, filtered, curated. You’re comparing your real, messy, behind-the-scenes life to someone else’s edited production.
And when self-worth is built on what others think, say, or “like,” that comparison game becomes exhausting.
This is what I call society-based esteem:
“I have worth because you say I do.”
It’s fragile. And social media feeds it like wildfire.
But there’s another way: healthy self-esteem. The kind that says,
“I have worth because I exist.”
You don’t have to hustle for it. You don’t have to earn it by being the most beautiful or the most productive or the most liked. It’s already yours.
A Reminder, If You Need It Today
If you’re scrolling and starting to spiral, take a breath. Step back.
Ask yourself:
- “Is this serving me right now?”
- “Am I consuming something helpful or harmful?”
- “What would feel grounding instead?”
And above all—remember this:
Your worth does not live inside an algorithm.
It lives in you.⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I can help you explore where your self esteem and boundaries fail and make the changes that will improve every aspect of your life and relationships. Contact me here to book a call to see if we’re a good fit! I offer therapy online (anywhere!) and in Norwood, MA in person.