Cheesy as it sounds, there is such inner peace when you have healthy self esteem and healthy boundaries, and that peace leads to healthy and easy decision-making.
Last week was our 15th wedding anniversary and we were deciding what to have for dinner.
I was in charge of picking the restaurant; he was in charge of picking his meal.
He was really struggling to find something that sounded good on each menu AND to tell me he didn’t want to eat at each place. The first time, no biggie. The second time, a little more annoying. The third time? This is where I, historically, get upset and say something like, “Oh my goodness! Just say no already, give me my phone back, and I’ll pick another restaurant!”
That is our typical interaction. While it’s not usually about a restaurant, this has happened a few times in the past.
If you notice, my annoyance does NOT come from him saying no. My annoyance comes from his HESITANCY to say no. His fear of disappointing me or of making me “work harder” (his words).
This time, rather than acting out my annoyance, an image of my boundaries came to mind…thanks to the imagery exercise I practice each day to reinforce my boundaries (I teach it to my clients, too).
When I saw the image, I was instantly reminded (and able) to stay healthy. And I was not annoyed, not even in the slightest.
I did not get as frustrated with my husband’s hesitancy because I used my boundaries. I used my Containment Boundary to not lash out at him, *and* my Protective Boundary to not absorb his indecision, nor his fear of upsetting me. Those were his issues, not mine.
To learn more about healthy boundaries, check out my I did a video on Containment vs Protective Boundaries (on my YouTube channel).
I bet you’ll never guess what image I use to set my boundaries.
Monster Truck Tires. Monster. Truck. Tires.
Big Tires. In front of me.
Because of the childhood rhyme: I’m rubber, you’re glue, everything you say bounces off me and sticks to you.
Need help with your Boundaries? Come on, who doesn’t?!
I’ll show you how to create your own monster truck tires. Maybe it’ll be orange cones or a ring of fire. Whatever it is, when you use my visualization tool, you’ll find it easier to shut out annoyance and make confident decisions!