If you’ve been with me for a while, you’ve probably heard me talk about self-esteem—and how we often learn to base it on external factors: achievements, others’ approval, how we look, or what we own.
But I want to add a helpful nuance to that lens—something that came up for me recently while revisiting the work of Dr. Kristin Neff, a leading researcher on this topic.
Kristin Neff distinguishes between self-worth and self-esteem, and I really love her framing. It’s perfectly aligned with the concepts I’ve already been teaching—I’ve just used different words.
Here’s how we can break it down:
- Self-worth is inherent. It’s the deep knowing that I have worth simply because I was born. I matter. I am enough—no achievements or approval required.
- Self-esteem, on the other hand, is what we reach for when we don’t feel that inherent worth. It becomes conditional—based on things like:
- Esteem: whether I feel good about myself today
- Achievements: how well I perform or what I accomplish
- Society: whether others approve of me
- Attributes & Assets: how I look, what I own, or how I present
This is the framework I’ve often referred to as E.A.S.A.—a helpful reminder of the outside sources we often turn to in search of value.
Going forward, you’ll hear me using self-worth more intentionally to refer to that deep, intrinsic value we all hold—and self-esteem to describe the conditional, externally based version many of us learned to chase.
This shift in language isn’t just semantics—it’s a powerful reminder that you don’t have to earn your worth. You already have it.
Want to hear more?
Watch the full video here: