Big T traumas are the known and spoken abuses and traumas:
- Sexual Abuse
- Physical Abuse
- Verbal Abuse
- Natural Disasters
- Life Transitions (possibly) – a family move, a divorce, etc
Little t traumas are the other stuff.
I heard this definition of trauma: “overwhelm plus alone.”
I mention elsewhere on this site that my 10yr old son may have deemed it traumatic when I turned off the TV. If his sadness or anger was overwhelming for his little brain/body/nervous system and I didn’t help him process that feeling, that could absolutely be a traumatic experience for him.
If, on the other hand, I sat with him and said “I can see you’re struggling right now. Can you tell me about it? Can you tell me what you’re thinking right now or how this feels in your body?” That is taking away his “alone-ness.”
Big T traumas get all of the attention.
Little t traumas can really stack up, be detrimental to the person, and have a huge impact on their adult functioning.
Basically, both matter. Both deserve attention and care. When we recognize and address even the seemingly minor moments, we create space for healing and resilience, preventing those little ‘t’ traumas from growing into larger emotional burdens later in life.
Contact me now to get to work together on these.