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# unmessyourmind

Victoria Easa, LISCW

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## Posts

- [Blog](https://unmessyourmind.com/blog/)
- [When Your Self-Worth Changes Around Others](https://unmessyourmind.com/when-your-self-worth-changes-around-others/) - Have you ever noticed that your sense of worth shifts depending on who you’re with?Maybe you feel confident and comfortable with one person, but suddenly small or invisible around others. If that sounds familiar, you might be operating from what I call society-based esteem — one of the four “outside sources” in the EASA lens
- [Benches](https://unmessyourmind.com/benches/) - I'm a big fan of Dr. Becky's "Good Inside" podcast, and I love a concept she talks about. I'm going to share a mental image with you: Picture a huge, beautiful garden filled with benches. Each bench represents a different emotional state. There's a bench for joy, a bench for sadness, a bench for anger,
- [Self Esteem vs Self Confidence](https://unmessyourmind.com/self-esteem-vs-self-confidence/) - The Vickey Difference Let’s clear something up: Self-confidence is not the same thing as self-esteem. They’re related, sure. But they are not interchangeable. And mistaking one for the other can lead to all kinds of emotional whiplash. So let’s break it down—Vickey style. What Is Self-Confidence? Self-confidence is what says: “I’m good at what I
- [What if You Can’t Find the Words?](https://unmessyourmind.com/what-if-you-cant-find-the-words/) - Last Friday, I was at my kickboxing class, and we went to do a set that involved some back kicks. This was a team thing, and I guess I got this look on my face: 😧 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀…Because my partner was clearly thinking I was overwhelmed and scared about doing the back kick. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Even the instructor came over
- [Boundaries…They Aren’t What you Think!](https://unmessyourmind.com/boundariesthey-arent-what-you-think-2/) - I We hear a lot about boundaries these days.“Set boundaries.”“Protect your peace.”“Block toxic people.” But here’s the thing: a lot of what we call “boundaries” are actually something else entirely. Let’s clear it up. Wait, That’s Not a Boundary? If you’ve ever said something like: “If you yell at me again, I’m leaving.” That’s a
- [How to Stop Letting Social Media Make You Feel Crappy](https://unmessyourmind.com/how-to-stop-letting-social-media-make-you-feel-crappy/) - A friend of mine once said something that’s stuck with me:“You are what you eat... except, what if it’s actually you are what you consume?” Think about that for a second. If “consume” includes everything your brain takes in—not just food, but books, TV, news, conversations, social media—that changes the whole meaning. Because we’re not
- [Clarifying the Language: Self-Worth vs. Self-Esteem](https://unmessyourmind.com/clarifying-the-language-self-worth-vs-self-esteem/) - If you’ve been with me for a while, you’ve probably heard me talk about self-esteem—and how we often learn to base it on external factors: achievements, others’ approval, how we look, or what we own. But I want to add a helpful nuance to that lens—something that came up for me recently while revisiting the
- [Fear of Abandonment vs. Fear of Exile: Two Deep Wounds from Childhood](https://unmessyourmind.com/fear-of-abandonment-vs-fear-of-exile-two-deep-wounds-from-childhood/) - Today, I want to talk about something I’ve never really touched on before—because honestly, it only recently emerged for me in my own personal therapy. Most people have heard of the fear of abandonment. It gets talked about a lot in therapy, relationships, and all over social media. But there’s another kind of fear—one that
- [Do Self-Worth Affirmations Make You CRINGE?](https://unmessyourmind.com/do-self-worth-affirmations-make-you-cringe/) - Do you cringe when you tell yourself self-worth affirmations? Keep reading to learn how to cope with this resistance. What is Self-Worth? Self-worth is inherent. It’s the deep-seated belief that you have value simply because you exist. Your worth isn’t tied to your achievements, possessions, or how others perceive you. It’s the foundational belief: I
- [The Memory You Don’t Even Know You’re In: Understanding Implicit vs. Explicit Memory](https://unmessyourmind.com/the-memory-you-dont-even-know-youre-in-understanding-implicit-vs-explicit-memory/) - Some insights don’t give you an immediate life hack—but they can change how you understand yourself forever. Today, I want to share one of those insights. It’s not a quick tip or a 3-minute skill to practice at home. It’s more of a foundational piece of information that I genuinely wish everyone in the world
- [What Does “Regulated” Actually Mean?](https://unmessyourmind.com/what-does-regulated-actually-mean/) - There’s a word we therapists use all the time—but when I try to explain it to family and friends (even my husband!), it doesn’t always land the way I hope. That word? Regulated. If you’ve been in therapy spaces, chances are you’ve heard it. You might even be familiar with its counterpart: dysregulated. But if
- [Are You Too STUBBORN?](https://unmessyourmind.com/are-you-too-stubborn/) - Where Rigidity Lives—and Where Nuance Begins Let’s explore a simple but powerful concept that can help you better understand your brain and how you respond to the world around you. Imagine your brain as a hand. This idea comes from Dr. Dan Siegel’s hand model of the brain. The base of the hand represents your
- [Understanding Emotional Responses in Relationships When Your Brain Thinks it's Being ATTACKED!](https://unmessyourmind.com/understanding-emotional-responses-in-relationships-when-your-brain-thinks-its-being-attacked/) - The Salt Story: Understanding Emotional Responses in Relationships When I first encountered Dr. Dan Siegel’s hand model of the brain, coupled with insights from Terry Real and Robin Gobbel, it felt like a lightbulb moment. Their explanations about how our brains scan for safety versus danger profoundly resonated with me. As a therapist, I’ve seen
- [Understanding Brain States to Improve Your Relationships](https://unmessyourmind.com/understanding-brain-states-to-improve-your-relationships/) - Hey there! Today, I want to dive into a topic that’s not just fascinating but incredibly useful when it comes to understanding yourself and others better: brain states. This concept draws from the work of some brilliant minds like Terry Real, Dan Siegel, Julianne Taylor Shore (Jules), and Robin Gobbel. While they might use different
- [Unconditional Love And Inherent Self Worth](https://unmessyourmind.com/unconditional-love-and-inherent-self-worth/) - Earlier this week, it occurred to me that in all my videos and blogs I have done on inherent self-worth versus outside sources of self esteem, I have never explained why this new lens doesn’t come naturally. Why we adults (and/or our children) don’t believe that we have worth because we were born, period? Keep
- [Big T vs Little t Trauma](https://unmessyourmind.com/big-t-vs-little-t-trauma/) - Big T traumas are the known and spoken abuses and traumas: Sexual Abuse Physical Abuse Verbal Abuse Natural Disasters Life Transitions (possibly) - a family move, a divorce, etc Little t traumas are the other stuff. I heard this definition of trauma: “overwhelm plus alone.” I mention elsewhere on this site that my 10yr old
- [Speaking](https://unmessyourmind.com/book-me-for-speaking-engagements/) - Have you got an engagement you believe might be a great platform for my message? Contact me to inquire if I am available for your event, workshop or summit. In-Person Engagements This past November 2021, I was an official speaker at the conference held by the Orthodox Christian Association of Medicine, Psychology and Religion (OCAMPR).
- [What You Wish For](https://unmessyourmind.com/what-you-wish-for/) - Katherine Center has become one of my new favorite authors. I have read two of her books and I am currently reading the third. This book is called “What You Wish For.” Samantha, known as Sam, is the main character.We learn early on in the book that she has epilepsy with seizures. We also learn
- [What is Discernment?](https://unmessyourmind.com/what-is-discernment/) - It is the ability to understand what is really your "stuff" and what is not - what is the other person’s. Discernment is a part of boundaries. Discernment is the ability to know the answers to these two questions: Is this true? Is this about me? If the answer to either of those questions is
- [Call It What You Want—He’s Right](https://unmessyourmind.com/call-it-what-you-want-hes-right/) - I was talking to someone a few weeks ago. No, I was talking to my children in front of someone. He made the comment that it shouldn’t matter what other people think of you, happiness comes from the inside. I responded “Kids, he’s talking about healthy self-esteem.” (Yes, my kids hear me talk about this stuff all
- [Is it Selfish to be Healthy?](https://unmessyourmind.com/is-it-selfish-to-be-healthy/) - Step out of the Contempt Cycle—for YOU! When you are angry, judgmental, or gossipy, you are in The Contempt Cycle—where you are feeling Better Than or Less Than others. And it’s not a healthy, balanced place to be! What if the other person deserves my contempt? How do I step out of The Contempt Cycle? YOU deserve to
- [Connection vs. Worth](https://unmessyourmind.com/connection-vs-worth/) - Yet again, I was reading an article that interested me. Funny, it actually wasn’t even just the article that I wanted to write about; it was one of the comments. The article had this quote: “Seeking affirmation or fulfillment in relationships alone is chasing after fool’s gold.” If you’ve been reading along with my emails,
- [How can I Hurt Someone Else When I’m in Less Than?](https://unmessyourmind.com/how-can-i-hurt-someone-else-when-im-in-less-than/) - Does it seem strange that you could hurt someone else when you’re in low self esteem? One of my therapy couples—the husband, Brandon—had been out of work for awhile and was feeling pretty down on himself for not enjoying that unemployed time with his kids enough. It was because they’re challenging; anyone who is at
- [The 3 Things You Can Do RIGHT NOW to Feel Better About Yourself](https://unmessyourmind.com/the-3-things-you-can-do-right-now-to-feel-better-about-yourself/) - If you find yourself in “Less Than” mode, here are 3 things you can do to feel better RIGHT NOW. Deep cleansing breaths into your healthy center Use healthy affirmations! STOP comparing yourself to others and bring your focus back to you In this video, I will tell you all about how these tips work to
- [When Did You Stop Feeling Special?](https://unmessyourmind.com/when-did-you-stop-feeling-special/) - We have friends who recently had a baby. I kept saying “Oh, there’s this great baby book on self esteem that I want to get for them.” God bless my husband. What he thought (sarcastically), and did not say, was “oh, that sounds like a great book.” Weeks later, one of my kids asked, “Mommy, what’s that
- [Do You Feel Confident at Work…But Steamrolled at Home?](https://unmessyourmind.com/do-you-feel-confident-at-workbut-steamrolled-at-home/) - This is a situation I see all the time with my clients: women who are killin’ it at work, but at home with their spouse, kids, family, and friends, they feel steamrolled, disrespected, or unappreciated—they don’t know how to set healthy boundaries and therefore have unhealthy self esteem. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀(Healthy self esteem and healthy boundaries go
- [Why Aren’t You Speaking Your Mind at Home?](https://unmessyourmind.com/why-arent-you-speaking-your-mind-at-home/) - I want to tell you about the concrete link on how our self esteem directly affects our decision making. How it holds us back from making the healthy decisions that we know in our gut to be right for us. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀One of the unhealthy sources of self esteem is Society Based Esteem: “My self worth stems from
- [Judgment vs. Contempt](https://unmessyourmind.com/judgment-vs-contempt/) - As I’ve been talking about self esteem, I have introduced you to concepts of the Center of Equality and Better Than/Less Than. The Center of Equality is where you say: I stand equal to all. Eye to eye and toe to toe. I am not Better Than others, I am not Less Than others. This is the goal. And
- [Passive vs Assertive vs Aggressive](https://unmessyourmind.com/passive-vs-assertive-vs-aggressive/) - We’re all familiar with what “passive” and “aggressive” mean—the two extremes—where one is a person who feels “Less Than” and doesn’t speak from their healthy center about their needs, feelings, and desires, and the other is someone acting from a place of “Better Than” who sometimes steamrolls over the needs, feelings and desires of others
- [You’re Allowed to Mess Up](https://unmessyourmind.com/youre-allowed-to-mess-up/) - Today I want to focus on the affirmations we tell ourselves from here and the affirmations we need to tell ourselves daily. To be in your healthy center, say: I have worth because I was born I’m enough and I matter in spite of my flaws and imperfections I can hold myself in warm regard…
- [Where Does Self Esteem Come From? What is Inherent Worth?](https://unmessyourmind.com/where-does-self-esteem-come-from-what-is-inherent-worth/) - Today, I want to go back to basics. A quick review: I love to talk about Self Esteem. And the “outside sources” of Self Esteem fit with my name: Vickey Easa. E is for Esteem A is for Achievements S is for Society (what others think of you) A is for Assets and Attributes (what you have or physical
- [Why Are You Afraid to Make Decisions? Perfectionism.](https://unmessyourmind.com/why-are-you-afraid-to-make-decisions-perfectionism/) - I talk a lot about the link between Healthy Self Esteem and Healthy Decision Making. Making decisions from your Healthy Center, not from a place of Better Than or Less Than, means you can make a decision confidently because you’re coming from a grounded, realistic place. Not from a place where you’re thinking you’re better
- [Achievement-Based Esteem and…Encanto?](https://unmessyourmind.com/achievement-based-esteem-andencanto/) - Most people that I know of have seen the movie “Encanto” by now. I am not giving *any* spoilers…but if you haven’t seen it and see it after this, this email might give you a different perspective on it. The more you learn and embody this lens of self esteem, the more you take it to heart
- [Nobody’s Perfect](https://unmessyourmind.com/nobodys-perfect/) - A little while ago, I did a video and blog on how I was inspired by the movie Encanto to talk about the sister, Luisa. Luisa bases her self worth on her strength, and I saw that as Attribute and Achievement Based Esteem. I have worth because I’m strong. I have worth because of what
- [I found the Greatest Love of All…](https://unmessyourmind.com/i-found-the-greatest-love-of-all/) - I typically talk about therapy only and how the concepts of Less Than and Better Than affect our lives. And that is still true, and that’s what I’m going to talk about today. But today I’m adding a different focal point because the other day, I heard an old song on the radio: Whitney Houston’s The
- [Your Worth is NOT Your Facebook](https://unmessyourmind.com/your-worth-is-not-your-facebook/) - Let’s talk about Instagram and Facebook. And the views, and the likes, and the follows. (First off, specifically, I’d like to call out if you know any teenagers, I would love for your to show them this or watch my video on this topic below.) But this applies to adults as well. If you listen to any
- [When I’ve “Made It”, Then I’ll be Happy](https://unmessyourmind.com/when-ive-made-it-then-ill-be-happy/) - A couple of months ago I saw a comedy special by the comedian, Gary Gulman. He spoke at a therapist seminar we therapists call “The Symposium.” He was speaking about a period of depression he went through in his routine, and something he said struck me because I realized it was an example of Asset
- [Why do Some Kids get Upset When They don’t Make the Team?](https://unmessyourmind.com/why-do-some-kids-get-upset-when-they-dont-make-the-team/) - My son recently made the cross-country team at his school, and although all of the kids “made the team”, he was still very excited. But it got me thinking about the question: Why do some kids get upset when they don’t make the team? Why does it affect some kids more than others when they
- [Good Inside](https://unmessyourmind.com/good-inside/) - I was listening to the podcast We Do Hard Things and they were interviewing Dr. Becky (Parenting Psychologist- find her at https://www.instagram.com/drbeckyatgoodinside/) and discussing her concept of “Good Inside”. I realized a while into it that her concept of “good inside” was essentially the same as my concept of “Inherent Worth”.Inherent Worth is: “I have inherent
- [Boundaries and Self Esteem in Folklore](https://unmessyourmind.com/boundaries-and-self-esteem-in-folklore/) - My assistant brought this Tik Tok video to my attention. She said, “This is your stuff!” It’s by author Wemi Opakunle. She shares a folklore story about an elephant who is tricked by other animals into challenging the lion as king of the jungle, and it doesn’t go well for the elephant. The other creatures shower the
- [How to Cope When you Goof Up in Public](https://unmessyourmind.com/how-to-cope-when-you-goof-up-in-public/) - Something really funny and kind of embarrassing happened when my assistant posted one of my reels to Instagram the other day, and it reminded me how I would have handled it back before I started using what I now call the EASA Lens of Self Esteem vs how I handled it now that I do.
- [You Matter.](https://unmessyourmind.com/you-matter/) - Today’s post is short and sweet: You matter. It occurred to me in one of my early morning sessions today that somebody out there reading or watching my content needed to hear that. You are enough and you matter. You have worth just because you were born. And my question is: Can you hold yourself in warm regard
- [It’s OK to Make Mistakes!](https://unmessyourmind.com/its-ok-to-make-mistakes/) - Today I want to talk again about how we talk to ourselves when we mess up. When we do something wrong, for lack of a better term.True story: A couple of weeks ago, I took my nine and ten-year-old into Yankee Candle. Which I have now learned is a bad idea. When they were little, it
- [Getting That Brass Ring](https://unmessyourmind.com/getting-that-brass-ring/) - Lately, I’ve really been enjoying Dax Shepard’s Podcast, The Armchair Expert. I’ve listened to about three or four of them; and in particular, I want to talk about the episodes he did with therapist Phillip Stutz, Anna Kendrick, and Scott Galloway. If you’ve followed my content at all, you know the EASA lens of the outside
- [Coaching vs Therapy – What’s the Difference?](https://unmessyourmind.com/coaching-vs-therapy-whats-the-difference/) - This week, someone brought to my attention some questions on the Better Than or Less Than positions that I talk about. Keep in mind: Inherent Self Worth is in the middle, or Same As. Better Than is “up” and Less Than is “down”. Same As is, “I have worth just because I was born. I
- [Being Balanced](https://unmessyourmind.com/being-balanced/) - Something came up in a session today…If you remember the EASA Lens of Self Esteem (which is actually derived from Pia Melody and Terry ReaI; just call it the EASA lens because it fits with my name) E is for esteem, A is for Achievements, S is for Society and A is for Attributes and Assets. This
- [Can You Hold Yourself in Warm Regard?](https://unmessyourmind.com/can-you-hold-yourself-in-warm-regard/) - How do you bring yourself back into your inherent worth and hold yourself in warm regard when you’re feeling not-so-worthy? Today I’m going to tell you about a little tip I give to my clients and even my own kids! Can I (can you) hold yourself in warm regard in spite of your flaws and
- [Inherent Worth and Remorse](https://unmessyourmind.com/inherent-worth-and-remorse/) - Hey there! Today I want to talk about another one of Dax Shepard’s podcast videos. His podcast if you don’t know it is called The Armchair Expert. I’ve already done one video on a topic that came up in another episode of his, but this video was the one in which he interviewed Anna Kendrick. So
- [All American Worth](https://unmessyourmind.com/all-american-worth/) - As you’ve probably noticed from reading/watching my content, I am obsessed with the concept of self esteem. I also use “self worth” because I feel like “self esteem” is a little vague. “Self Worth” is: where does my self worth come from? Do I know that: I have worth because I was born. Period. Nothing I say or
- [Teen Perspectives](https://unmessyourmind.com/teen-perspectives/) - If you’ve followed any of my content before, you know the EASA (my name) Lens of Self Esteem. This is where you define your worth if you don’t believe that you have inherent worth that stems from the inside—just from being born. So the EASA is: E is for EsteemA is for AchievementsS is for
- [I Felt Less Than](https://unmessyourmind.com/i-felt-less-than/) - Shhh…can you keep a secret?I spent my whole life feeling Less Than others. Less Than everyone around me.I just didn’t know it until I began to work with the model that I am here to teach people now. Healthy Self-Esteem is When You Can Say and Believe: “I am enough and I matter. I have worth
- [Eventually, We Get Tapped Out](https://unmessyourmind.com/eventually-we-get-tapped-out/) - “You can only care about other people’s stuff so much.” A client said this in session and I wrote it down. I just found it to be such a powerful statement. This, my friends, is a great pro-boundary statement. For those of us who think it’s more compassionate to have no boundaries, to try to
- [Implicit vs Explicit Messages and Memories](https://unmessyourmind.com/implicit-vs-explicit-messages-and-memories/) - Your brain has implicit and explicit memories. Explicit memories are factual events or information from your past. When you think about these, you actually know you’re remembering something: Your last birthday. Getting your last job offer. The movie you watched last night. George Washington was the first President of this country. Implicit memories, to put
- [Imposter Syndrome? Or Low Self Esteem?](https://unmessyourmind.com/imposter-syndrome-or-low-self-esteem/) - Imposter Syndrome? Or low Self-Esteem? They are so similar and often confused. Kind of like how all rectangles are squares and not all squares are rectangles. Imposter syndrome is always low Self-Esteem. Low Self-Esteem is not always Imposter Syndrome. Here's the difference: While they are both based in feeling Less Than, Imposter syndrome is the
- [Best Ways To Improve Your Self-Esteem (Expert Tips)](https://unmessyourmind.com/best-ways-to-improve-your-self-esteem-expert-tips/) - Read my latest featured article at:
- [Some Thoughts on the Movie "Soul"](https://unmessyourmind.com/some-thoughts-on-the-movie-soul/) - Who’s seen the movie “Soul?” If you haven’t, what I’m posting here shouldn’t give anything away… For those who have, that scene near the end, where 22 is talking to herself really spoke to me: *I’m not good enough. Nope. No. *All you make are bad decisions *You’re so selfish *You’re the least remarkable soul
- [Shame vs Guilt](https://unmessyourmind.com/shame-vs-guilt/) - Let’s look again at guilt vs shame. According to Brene Brown, “guilt” is behaviorable and actionable, “fixable.” **I did a bad thing “Shame,” on the other hand, is character-ological (is that a word? ), it’s who I am **I am a bad person It is much more challenging to get out of shame. Shame creates
- [Relational Life Therapy was born…](https://unmessyourmind.com/relational-life-therapy-was-born/) - As I've said, I am certified in a method of Couples' Therapy called Relational Life Therapy, created by Terry Real. And while already certified, I am also on a coaching call 3x/month to better my skills. I *really* love this work! Terry recently posted this info on his method so I decided to share: Relational
- [The Three Modes of Negotiation](https://unmessyourmind.com/the-three-modes-of-negotiation/) - Relational Life Therapy Recognizes Three Modes of Negotiation: Invitation Request Demand An Invitation is all about the other person. I “invite” you to do this and it is completely up to you if you participate or not. I was watching an online webinar that was pre-recorded. She invited the participants to do a breathing exercise.
- [Health Benefits of Displaying Family Photos at Home ](https://unmessyourmind.com/health-benefits-of-displaying-family-photos-at-home/) - Read my latest featured article at: https://blog.fractureme.com/health-benefits-of-displaying-family-photos-at-home/
- [Curiosity instead of Defensiveness](https://unmessyourmind.com/curiosity-instead-of-defensiveness/) - Meet your partner with curiosity instead of defensiveness. Can you do this? Do you do it often? I’ve said before there are 3 Core Tenants to Living Relationally: (there’s another post in here with that exact title) While I still believe there are 3, I’m making some changes; here are the previous ones, somewhat combined:
- [Practice makes perfect...](https://unmessyourmind.com/practice-makes-perfect/) - Let’s talk in cliché’s for a moment: Easier said than done. Practice makes perfect. When teaching new skills to my clients, new ways of thinking, and/or new behaviors, I often hear “Well, that’s easier said than done.” No, it’s not. I respond with, “Actually, no. It’s practice makes perfect.” No new skill is easy when
- [The 3 Things We Are Looking For in Our Partner](https://unmessyourmind.com/the-3-things-we-are-looking-for-in-our-partner/) - We are all really looking for three things in our partner: Read my mind Agree with everything I say Meet every need I have when I have it I know these sound extreme and simplistic. I also know it is true: these are the things we are all looking for deep down, if we allow
- [This is how I survived that house](https://unmessyourmind.com/this-is-how-i-survived-that-house/) - This is how I survived that house. When I said that statement in session this week, I was specifically referring to myself and my client at that moment. And then I realized the sentence likely serves for most people. “That house” is the house we all grew up in. Our adaptations, our current coping skills,
- [A Funny Story About Time Outs](https://unmessyourmind.com/a-funny-story-about-time-outs/) - Funny story about timeouts. . . Last weekend I needed my husband to sign the back of a check so I could deposit it through my phone. We both needed to sign it and my full legal name is rather long. If you're familiar with mobile depositing, you know you also have to write the “for
- [Is Self Esteem Pseudo-science?](https://unmessyourmind.com/is-self-esteem-pseudo-science/) - I was talking to someone a few weeks ago. No, I was talking to my children in front of someone. He made the comment that it shouldn't matter what other people think of you, happiness comes from the inside. I responded “Kids, he's talking about healthy self-esteem.” Yes, my kids hear me talk about this
- [What do Monster Truck Tires have to do with an Anniversary Dinner?](https://unmessyourmind.com/what-do-monster-truck-tires-have-to-do-with-an-anniversary-dinner/) - Cheesy as it sounds, there is such inner peace when you have healthy self esteem and healthy boundaries, and that peace leads to healthy and easy decision-making. Last week was our 15th wedding anniversary and we were deciding what to have for dinner. I was in charge of picking the restaurant; he was in charge
- [How to Fix a Broken Marriage Without Counseling](https://unmessyourmind.com/how-to-fix-a-broken-marriage-without-counseling/) - Read my latest featured article at: https://upjourney.com/how-to-fix-a-broken-marriage-without-counseling
- [The three core “tenants” of Relational Life Therapy](https://unmessyourmind.com/the-three-core-tenants-of-relational-life-therapy/) - I believe there are three core “tenants” of Relational Life Therapy. Everything else we discuss are skills that are used to work towards these tenants. The tenants are the following, in no particular order: *Living a Non-Violent Life: this means non-violence in multiple areas. The most recognizable one is between people. Is every interaction I
- [Teach Your Friends This Language](https://unmessyourmind.com/teach-your-friends-this-language/) - What a treat! My close friend, podcast partner, and Bootcamp co-facilitator (Rebecca Wong) hosts her own podcast at Connectfulness.com. A couple of weeks ago, she interviewed me for it. It wasn’t really an “interview,” so much as the two of us talking about some of our favorite subjects. When conflict arises in our relationships, what
- [There’s something counter-intuitive about a healthy marriage...](https://unmessyourmind.com/theres-something-counter-intuitive-about-a-healthy-marriage/) - There’s something counter-intuitive about a healthy marriage… we have to get healthy and make the changes FOR OURSELVES, not for our spouses. I know how weird that sounds, yet hear me out and it will make sense. When we make the changes for our spouse (for the sake of pronouns, I’ll make it myself and
- [Henry Winkler, aka The Fonz](https://unmessyourmind.com/henry-winkler-aka-the-fonz/) - I was in the car a few weeks ago and there was an interview with Henry Winkler. If you don't know him by name, he was Fonzie on Happy Days. They asked him about why he's so willing to talk about being Fonzie as other iconic characters throughout the past few years have avoided the
- [My Religious Side](https://unmessyourmind.com/my-religious-side/) - Some of my clients know that I'm very religious. They don't care, as I don't bring it into the room unless it is relevant. This is one of those times that it is relevant. This past November (2021), just a few weeks ago, I spoke at a conference through my church. The conference was held
- [How to Train Your Brain to Combat Communication Issues in Your Marriage](https://unmessyourmind.com/how-to-train-your-brain-to-combat-communication-issues-in-your-marriage/) - Read my latest marriage.com article at:
- [A Parent, not the Divine](https://unmessyourmind.com/a-parent-not-the-divine/) - I have a previous blog post on the three things we're all looking for in our partner: Read my mind Agree with everything I say Meet every need I have, when I have it You can read the whole thing here. I've heard this called “We're all actually looking for the Divine.” Historically, I’ve agreed
- [Boundaries…They Aren’t What You Think!](https://unmessyourmind.com/boundariesthey-arent-what-you-think/) - I want you to change the way you look at Boundaries.I want you to change the way you’ve been looking at Boundaries for your entire life. Working with me, you are going to begin to only see Boundaries as the following three concepts: You and I having a difference of opinion does not make me
- [Why Bother Learning This New Skill?](https://unmessyourmind.com/why-bother-learning-this-new-skill/) - I went skiing this weekend. I'm not exaggerating when I tell you the last time I skied was 30 years ago. My church youth group went on a ski trip. I don't remember having lessons—although I look back now and realize I must have been taught some sort of basics before I went up (and
- [Give your “yes” freely, or don’t give it at all.](https://unmessyourmind.com/give-your-yes-freely-or-dont-give-it-at-all/) - What do I mean by: "Give your 'yes' freely or don't give it at all"? I'm referring to when you say "yes" to something when you really want to say "no". And when you say "yes" because you want other people to approve of you and like you. Or because you're hoping for something in
- [Are you JUDGING yourself?](https://unmessyourmind.com/are-you-judging-yourself/) - Fun fact: I sell Beautycounter. I’m not very good at it, but I enjoy the social aspect of it, and that’s why I do it. Recently, I went to a meet-and-greet here in Boston featuring Gregg Renfrew, Founder and CEO of Beautycounter. She made a speech, and in that speech, she said something really great
- [Generational Legacy](https://unmessyourmind.com/generational-legacy/) - Generational Legacy. That term is becoming more common-place today, thanks to Encanto and Twitter. It simply means negative behavioral patterns get passed to the next generation because we aren’t even aware that we’re doing it. I’m a therapist. I know this stuff. I found myself falling into some patterns this week. A little background for

## Pages

- [Home](https://unmessyourmind.com/) - Vickey Easa, MSW, LICSW offers individual, couples, and business therapy online and in person in Norwood, MA. Flexible, professional care. Call 857-891-0146
- [Speaking](https://unmessyourmind.com/mental-health-keynote-speaker-workplace-well-being/) - Hire a mental health keynote speaker to boost team well-being, self-worth & boundaries. Transform workplace culture with actionable insights. Call 857-891-0146
- [Contact](https://unmessyourmind.com/contact/) - Currently accepting new clients. Call 857-891-0146 or email victoria@unmessyourmind.com to schedule a therapy session online or in Norwood, MA with Vickey Easa.
- [Privacy Policy](https://unmessyourmind.com/privacy-policy/) - Who we are Suggested text: Our website address is: https://unmessyourmind.com SCOPE OF THIS POLICY This Privacy Policy applies to all users of this Site. By using this Site you are agreeing to comply with and be bound by this Privacy Policy with Victoria Easa, LICSW (“Victoria Easa", "Unmess Your Mind" “we” or us”). If you
- [Podcast](https://unmessyourmind.com/podcast/) - I cohosted the Why Does My Partner podcast with my colleagues Jules Shore & Rebecca Wong. We tackled tough questions from listeners who wanted help in relationships. These questions —your questions— are relational gold. They echo the conversations that take place over and over again in our therapy offices and take us on a dive
- [FAQs](https://unmessyourmind.com/faqs/) - Frequently Asked Questions Who do you see? I work with adults only (30+) both individually and in relationships. Where are you located? My physical office is in Norwood, MA. However, as I still offer virtual sessions (and always will), geography is somewhat irrelevant. Are sessions currently online or in person? I offer both and I,
- [Individual Therapy](https://unmessyourmind.com/work-with-me/individual-therapy/) - Why are You Coming to Therapy? “I gotta chill out” “To improve communication with my spouse; conflict resolution” “To learn the skills of connection; how to communicate and still find my voice” “To learn to be more open and communicative” “To handle things better” “To not be so on edge” These are actual goals of
- [How I Work](https://unmessyourmind.com/how-i-work/) - ...So that change becomes easy I have almost 20 years of experience working with individuals and couples who are struggling with repetitive patterns and who are stuck in old stories. My work with clients helps them break free from these old patterns to build the life they want while uncovering the person they want to
- [Couples Therapy](https://unmessyourmind.com/work-with-me/couples-therapy/) - Couples Therapy with Me Whether you have been married for 30 years or are a year into dating, unsure if you want to commit to each other, couples therapy with me can help you peel back layers of conflict, distance, or stuckness to discover how you got to where you are and to chart a
- [Parenting](https://unmessyourmind.com/parenting/) - Are You Wondering if Your Own Childhood is Impacting Your Parenting? Or, do you simply want to do it differently than your parents did, and you have no template for how to do that? Maybe you’ve even read a few parenting books and nothing is really helping; nothing is really “sticking.” I’m NOT a parenting
- [Work With Me](https://unmessyourmind.com/work-with-me/)
- [Terms of Service](https://unmessyourmind.com/terms-of-service/) - YOUR ACCEPTANCE OF THESE TERMS OF USE These Terms of Use apply to all users of this Site. By using this Site, you are agreeing to comply with and be bound by these Terms of Use with Victoria Easa, LICSW (“Site”). If you do not agree to these Terms of Use, you may not access
- [Good Faith Estimate](https://unmessyourmind.com/good-faith-estimate/) - You have the right to receive a “Good Faith Estimate” explaining how much your medical care will cost Under the law, health care providers need to give patients who don’t have insurance or who are not using insurance an estimate of the bill for medical items and services. You have the right to receive a

## My Templates

- [Old Mobile Hero](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=old-mobile-hero) - Contact Me - Free Consultation!
- [Old Vickey Mobile block](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=old-vickey-mobile-block) - Vickey EasaMSW, LICSW Therapist & Speaker Contact Me
- [Old Vickey block](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=old-vickey-block) - Vickey EasaMSW, LICSW Therapist & Speaker Contact Me - Free Consultation!
- [Speaking topics](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=speaking-topics) - As a keynote speaker, my most popular topics include: Self Worth & Boundaries Power Dynamics in the Office The Compassion Advantage for Corporations Trauma-Informed Leadership & Management Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace Managing Emotions Under Pressure Managing Stress
- [Tell me Your Stories Original Mobile](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=tell-me-your-stories-original-mobile) - ...One mess at a time. I have been a therapist for 17+ years and love learning, growing, and expanding my skills. I have a strong interest in relationship patterns, and the role that family dynamics, neuroscience, and trauma create across generations. We now call this “intergenerational legacies.” Historically we called this “the cycle.” It’s been
- [Original About Page Desktop 1-25](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=original-about-page-desktop-1-25) - ...One mess at a time. I have been a therapist for 17+ years and love learning, growing, and expanding my skills. I have a strong interest in relationship patterns, and the role that family dynamics, neuroscience, and trauma create across generations. We now call this “intergenerational legacies.” Historically we called this “the cycle.” It’s been
- [Original Couples Verbiage 5](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=original-couples-verbiage-5) - My couples sessions are 100 minutes long You read that correctly: One hundred minutes long. This gives us more time to dig into the issues, the negative patterns, the stuff coming up for both of you. We will be doing individual work in our “couples sessions.” You might know this (you might not): your individual stuff
- [Original Couples verbiage 4](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=original-couples-verbiage-4) - I don’t care if you stay married or not. I care that you make the decision from a healthy place. I cringe when I hear marriage therapists say “I value marriage” or “I want to help you stay married.” Do I value marriage? Absolutely. And it is imperative to your treatment that I don’t walk
- [Original Couples Verbiage 3](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=original-couples-verbiage-3) - Is it “fair” if you do your own work and your partner doesn’t? Well, yes and no. I know, it sounds like I’m trying to avoid answering. Here me out:Yes, because you are still improving and this is a better lifestyle for you anyway. Yes, because you are now better prepared to make a decision about
- [Original Couples Page Verbiage 2](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=original-couples-page-verbiage-2) - Relational Life Therapy is really individual work. The best part about this being individual work is that you have a say here. You are not trapped in a system outside of your control. You are not powerless. You are empowered to make your own choices and changes. You get to take care of you, and
- [Original Couples Therapy Desktop 1](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=original-couples-therapy-desktop-1) - Your relationship has fallen into some negative patterns. You are struggling to communicate. There are no “big issues,” and yet, you don’t feel as connected as you did in the past. You feel stuck. You may even be feeling hopeless. Let’s work together to see how you ended up in this negative place. What issues
- ["Tell me Your Stories" About Page original desktop](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=tell-me-your-stories-about-page-original-desktop) - ...One mess at a time. I have been a therapist for 17+ years and love learning, growing, and expanding my skills. I have a strong interest in relationship patterns, and the role that family dynamics, neuroscience, and trauma create across generations. We now call this “intergenerational legacies.” Historically we called this “the cycle.” It’s been
- [3-section "Wondering if we'd be a good fit?" mobile](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=3-section-wondering-if-wed-be-a-good-fit-mobile) - Follow me on YouTube If you’re following me on Facebook or Instagram, you’ve seen my therapy tidbit videos on Self Esteem, Boundaries, and some other topics. If you haven’t been following along, here’s a little snippet of my thoughts on these topics. Why Does My Partner? Podcast I cohost the Why Does My Partner podcast. We
- [Original Homepage Verbiage Desktop 1/25](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=original-homepage-verbiage-desktop-1-25) - For many of us, it can be a mess up there. You might find that when you start to dig into one issue you have, let’s call that Frustration A, it leads to Frustration B, which is tangled up in frustration C and now you don’t know where to start.You are not alone. This is
- [New "other places to find me" block- 2 only](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=new-other-places-to-find-me-block-2-only) - My clients who find this site and contact me are almost always a perfect fit. Why? Because this site is totally ME. Here are some examples of my voice literally and figuratively. Contact me if you like what I have to say.​ Why Does My Partner? Podcast I cohost the Why Does My Partner podcast. We tackle
- [Triple block with workshop, YT](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=triple-block-with-workshop-yt) - My clients who find this site and contact me are almost always a perfect fit. Why? Because this site is totally ME. Here are some examples of my voice – literally and figuratively. Contact me if you like what I have to say. Follow me on YouTube If you’re following me on Facebook or Instagram,
- [Credential block mobile](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=credential-block-mobile) - Vickey EasaMSW, LICSW My Certifications, Licensure & Degrees STAIR Trained, 2024 Certified RLT Bootcamp Facilitator, 2020 Certified Relational Life Therapist (RLT), 2018 Massachusetts Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker #115004, 2009 Masters in Social Work, CalState Long Beach, 2002 Bachelors of Arts in Psychology, Pepperdine University, 1996 Contact Me
- [Credential block Desktop](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=credential-block-desktop) - Vickey EasaMSW, LICSW My Certifications, Licensure & Degrees STAIR Trained, 2024 Certified RLT Bootcamp Facilitator, 2020 Certified Relational Life Therapist (RLT), 2018 Massachusetts Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker #115004, 2009 Masters in Social Work, CalState Long Beach, 2002 Bachelors of Arts in Psychology, Pepperdine University, 1996 Contact Me
- [About page verbiage mobile](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=about-page-verbiage-mobile) - ...One mess at a time. I have been a therapist for 17+ years and love learning, growing, and expanding my skills. I have a strong interest in relationship patterns, and the role that family dynamics, neuroscience, and trauma create across generations. We now call this “intergenerational legacies.” Historically we called this “the cycle.” It’s been
- [About Page verbiage](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=about-page-verbiage) - ...One mess at a time. I have been a therapist for 17+ years and love learning, growing, and expanding my skills. I have a strong interest in relationship patterns, and the role that family dynamics, neuroscience, and trauma create across generations. We now call this “intergenerational legacies.” Historically we called this “the cycle.” It’s been
- [wondering if wed be a good fit mobile - USE THIS ONE](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=wondering-if-wed-be-a-good-fit-mobile-use-this-one) - My clients who find this site and contact me are almost always a perfect fit. Why? Because this site is totally ME. Here are some examples of my voice – literally and figuratively. Contact me if you like what I have to say. Follow me on YouTube If you’re following me on Facebook or Instagram,
- [mobile wondering if were a good fit](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=mobile-wondering-if-were-a-good-fit) - Follow me on YouTube If you’re following me on Facebook or Instagram, you’ve seen my therapy tidbit videos on Self Esteem, Boundaries, and some other topics. If you haven’t been following along, here’s a little snippet of my thoughts on these topics. Why Does My Partner? Podcast I cohost the Why Does My Partner podcast. We
- [Original Home page work with me mobile](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=original-home-page-work-with-me-mobile) - Work With Me Individual TherapyWork on Your Own Stuff. We'll figure out what's going on for you. What is coming up from your historical past (your childhood). How you handle your emotions. Why you get caught in unproductive and unhealthy thought loops and how to stop the cycle. Couples TherapyHas your relationship (like all relationships
- [Original home page work with me](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=original-home-page-work-with-me) - Work With Me Individual TherapyWork on Your Own Stuff. We'll figure out what's going on for you. What is coming up from your historical past (your childhood). How you handle your emotions. Why you get caught in unproductive and unhealthy thought loops and how to stop the cycle. Couples TherapyHas your relationship (like all relationships
- [Licensure Block Mobile](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=licensure-block-mobile) - Vickey EasaMSW, LICSW My Certifications, Licensure & Degrees STAIR Trained, 2024 Certified RLT Bootcamp Facilitator, 2020 Certified Relational Life Therapist (RLT), 2018 Massachusetts Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker #115004, 2009 Masters in Social Work, CalState Long Beach, 2002 Bachelors of Arts in Psychology, Pepperdine University, 1996 Contact Me
- [Licensure Block Desktop](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=licensure-block-desktop) - Vickey EasaMSW, LICSW My Certifications, Licensure & Degrees STAIR Trained, 2024 Certified RLT Bootcamp Facilitator, 2020 Certified Relational Life Therapist (RLT), 2018 Massachusetts Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker #115004, 2009 Masters in Social Work, CalState Long Beach, 2002 Bachelors of Arts in Psychology, Pepperdine University, 1996 Contact Me
- [Credentials Mobile 2024](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=credentials-mobile-2024) - Vickey EasaMSW, LICSW My Certifications, Licensure & Degrees STAIR Trained, 2024 Certified RLT Bootcamp Facilitator, 2020 Certified Relational Life Therapist (RLT), 2018 Massachusetts Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker #115004, 2009 Masters in Social Work, CalState Long Beach, 2002 Bachelors of Arts in Psychology, Pepperdine University, 1996 Contact Me
- [Credentials 2024](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=credentials-2024) - Vickey EasaMSW, LICSW My Certifications, Licensure & Degrees STAIR Trained, 2024 Certified RLT Bootcamp Facilitator, 2020 Certified Relational Life Therapist (RLT), 2018 Massachusetts Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker #115004, 2009 Masters in Social Work, CalState Long Beach, 2002 Bachelors of Arts in Psychology, Pepperdine University, 1996 Contact Me
- [Speaker text left image right 2024](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=speaker-text-left-image-right-2024) - Mental Health & Well-Being Keynote Speaker Are you watching your bottom line and company culture take a hit as your teams drown in unmanageable workloads and constant stress? ➜ Maybe you’re facing higher costs from absenteeism, or you’re dealing with the fallout of burnout because employees aren’t taking necessary time off.➜ You might be seeing a drop
- [Quote Block Blue](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=quote-block-blue)
- [Quote Block Beige](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=quote-block-beige)
- [Image Left Text right](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=image-left-text-right) - That's where I come in. As a licensed therapist with nearly 20 years of experience working with high-powered professionals, I give your team the tools to transform their self-esteem and set strong, effective boundaries.This work not only enhances each employee’s well-being, but also transforms the entire organizational culture, fostering a more engaged, assertive, and cohesive
- [Keynote Speaker Middle Box Block](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=keynote-speaker-middle-box-block) - As a keynote speaker, my most popular topics include: Self Worth & Boundaries Power Dynamics in the Office The Compassion Advantage for Corporations Trauma-Informed Leadership & Management Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace Managing Emotions Under Pressure Managing Stress
- [Key Takeaways Include](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=key-takeaways-include) - Key Takeaways Include: ➜ Uncover the power of self-worth in driving individual and team performance, and how enhancing it can improve your culture and results➜ Transform your team dynamics with a “Same As” perspective, fostering a more collaborative and inclusive environment.➜ Gain actionable insights on how shifting out of a threat state can unleash creativity, innovation, and resilience
- [Featured In](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=featured-in) - Featured In
- [Why Choose Us 4 column block](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=why-choose-us-4-column-block) - Why Choose Us benefit 1 A short description of the benefit. benefit 2 A short description of the benefit. benefit 3 A short description of the benefit. benefit 4 A short description of the benefit.
- [Our Services Block](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=our-services-block) - Our Services This text briefly introduces visitors to your main services. Service 1A short description of the service and how the visitor will benefit from it. Service 2A short description of the service and how the visitor will benefit from it. Service 3A short description of the service and how the visitor will benefit from
- [Text and Right Image](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=text-and-right-image) - Mental Health & Well-Being Keynote Speaker Are you watching your bottom line and company culture take a hit as your teams drown in unmanageable workloads and constant stress? ➜ Maybe you’re facing higher costs from absenteeism, or you’re dealing with the fallout of burnout because employees aren’t taking necessary time off.➜ You might be seeing a drop
- [Work With Me Mobile](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=work-with-me-mobile) - Work With Me Click here to contact me and book a free consultation call to see if we are a good fit.Individual TherapyCouples TherapyAbout Me
- [Work With Me Desktop](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=work-with-me-desktop) - Work with Me Click here to contact me and book a free consultation call to see if we are a good fit.Individual TherapyCouples TherapyAbout Me
- [Couples Therapy Page](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=couples-therapy-page) - Your relationship has fallen into some negative patterns. You are struggling to communicate. There are no “big issues,” and yet, you don’t feel as connected as you did in the past. You feel stuck. You may even be feeling hopeless.Let’s work together to see how you ended up in this negative place.What issues are you
- [Individual Therapy](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=individual-therapy)
- [tell me your stories](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=tell-me-your-stories) - Allow me to help you find the roots of your pain. Allow me to guide you into a healthier perspective – a healthier lens through which to view your world.I have been a therapist for 14+ years and love learning, growing, and expanding my skills. I love what I do and find the current moment
- [As Featured in](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=as-featured-in)
- [Vickey Pic/Creds block](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=vickey-pic-creds-block) - Vickey Easa, MSW, LICSW Therapist/Relational Coach Contact Me
- [It's a mess up there text block](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=its-a-mess-up-there-text-block) - For many of us, it can be a mess up there. You might find that when you start to dig into one issue you have, let’s call that Frustration A, it leads to Frustration B, which is tangled up in frustration C and now you don’t know where to start.You are not alone. This is
- [Work with me](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=work-with-me-2) - Work With Me Individual TherapyWork on Your Own Stuff. We'll figure out what's going on for you. What is coming up from your historical past (your childhood). How you handle your emotions. Why you get caught in unproductive and unhealthy thought loops and how to stop the cycle. Couples TherapyHas your relationship (like all relationships
- [Wondering if](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=wondering-if) - My clients who find this site and contact me are almost always a perfect fit. Why? Because this site is totally ME. Here are some examples of my voice – literally and figuratively. Contact me if you like what I have to say. Follow me on YouTube If you’re following me on Facebook or Instagram,
- [Klaviyo Form](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=klaviyo-form)
- [I'm vickey](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=im-vickey) - I'm Vickey Vickey “about” text goes here Contact Me
- [logo](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=logo)
- [Text and Header](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=text-and-header) - For many of us, it can be a mess up there. You might find that when you start to dig into one issue you have, let’s call that Frustration A, it leads to Frustration B, which is tangled up in frustration C and now you don’t know where to start.You are not alone. This is
- [Hero](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=hero) - Vickey Easa, MSW, LISCW Therapist/Certified Relational Coach Contact Me
- [Default Kit](https://unmessyourmind.com/?elementor_library=default-kit)

## Categories

- [Uncategorized](https://unmessyourmind.com/category/uncategorized/)
- [Stories](https://unmessyourmind.com/category/stories/)
- [Childhood Messes](https://unmessyourmind.com/category/childhood-messes/)
- [Memories](https://unmessyourmind.com/category/memories/)
- [Self Esteem](https://unmessyourmind.com/category/self-esteem/)
- [Judgment](https://unmessyourmind.com/category/judgment/)
- [Boundaries](https://unmessyourmind.com/category/boundaries/)
- [As Featured In](https://unmessyourmind.com/category/as-featured-in/)
- [Speaking Engagements](https://unmessyourmind.com/category/speaking-engagements/)
- [Relationships](https://unmessyourmind.com/category/relationships/)

## Tags

- [memories](https://unmessyourmind.com/tag/memories/)
- [beliefs](https://unmessyourmind.com/tag/beliefs/)
- [self worth](https://unmessyourmind.com/tag/self-worth/)
- [neuroscience](https://unmessyourmind.com/tag/neuroscience/)
- [relationships](https://unmessyourmind.com/tag/relationships/)
- [emotional regulation](https://unmessyourmind.com/tag/emotional-regulation/)
- [dysregulation](https://unmessyourmind.com/tag/dysregulation/)
- [self esteem](https://unmessyourmind.com/tag/self-esteem/)
- [boundaries](https://unmessyourmind.com/tag/boundaries/)
- [marriage](https://unmessyourmind.com/tag/marriage/)